She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize