My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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