is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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