at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
