You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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