so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
