just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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