Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.