All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.