i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.