i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
