i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
