gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There are leaves in my underwear?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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