I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
