I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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