i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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