Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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