Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
