Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
don't judge my taste in strippers
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
