Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
