Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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