she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There r osticjed everywhere
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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