.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
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Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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