over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
