he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
