the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
