Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
