I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've blown a few things in my day
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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