me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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