I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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