we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
