put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
