are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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