whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
