there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize