just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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