so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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