Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
