Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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