i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
