I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she told me i tasted like america
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
