Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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