I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
