So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's rum buckets o'clock
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
