I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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