omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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