My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize