I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You've changed since you got that strap on
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
