you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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