There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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