Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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