And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
