So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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