kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
