I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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