they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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