I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
